For many people, especially those who have lived with disability, illness, or long-term challenges, taking up space does not come naturally. It is something that often has to be learned later in life. When you spend years adapting, adjusting, and trying not to inconvenience anyone, you can begin to shrink without even noticing. You make yourself smaller in conversations. You minimise your needs. You apologise for things that were never your fault. Over time, shrinking becomes a habit, and existing fully starts to feel like too much.
Taking up space is not about being loud or demanding attention. It is about allowing yourself to exist without constant self-correction. It is about speaking without rehearsing every word in fear of being misunderstood. It is about walking into a room without feeling like you need to justify why you are there. For people who have been judged, underestimated, or treated as fragile, this can feel unnatural at first. Confidence may have been challenged repeatedly, and doubt may feel safer than boldness.
Many people with disabilities grow up being reminded of what they cannot do before they are ever encouraged to explore what they can. They are told to be careful, to slow down, to manage expectations. While some of this advice is protective, it can quietly shape identity. You begin to filter your ambition. You hesitate before putting yourself forward. You wonder whether people see your potential or just your limitations. In those moments, shrinking can feel like self-protection.
But constantly reducing yourself to fit other people’s comfort comes at a cost. It can create resentment, frustration, and a quiet sadness that builds over time. You may find yourself watching others move freely, express opinions confidently, or pursue opportunities boldly, while you remain cautious and restrained. The truth is, your presence is not a disruption. Your needs are not an inconvenience. Your voice is not excessive.
Learning to take up space without apology starts internally. It begins with recognising that your experiences, thoughts, and emotions are valid. You do not need to earn the right to speak. You do not need to overperform to justify your place. You do not need to apologise for existing with different needs, a different pace, or a different path. When you accept that your presence is legitimate, your posture changes — not just physically, but emotionally.
Externally, taking up space might look like applying for the opportunity you almost talked yourself out of. It might mean correcting someone who underestimates you. It might mean saying no without over-explaining. It could be as simple as holding eye contact when you speak or allowing silence after you make a point instead of rushing to soften it. These actions may seem small, but they signal to others — and to yourself — that you are not shrinking anymore.
There will be moments when taking up space makes others uncomfortable. Some people are used to you being agreeable, quiet, or self-sacrificing. When that shifts, they may resist it. But discomfort does not mean you are wrong. Growth often unsettles people who benefited from your silence. Standing firm does not require aggression. It requires steadiness.
Taking up space is not about becoming someone different. It is about returning to who you were before you learned to shrink. It is about reclaiming parts of yourself that were muted by fear, judgement, or repeated misunderstanding. And it is about understanding that your existence, exactly as it is, is not something that requires apology.
You are allowed to be visible. You are allowed to be heard. You are allowed to occupy space in rooms, conversations, opportunities, and relationships. Not because you proved yourself beyond doubt, but because you are human. And learning to take up space without apology is not selfish — it is a quiet act of self-respect.
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